Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest...."

I am sitting in my quiet house, all the kids are asleep and Patty is at a women's bible/prayer group. This idea of needing rest from a given activity is a bit foreign to me. To explain, let me tell you of a typical day for...

Patrick

4:19AM - get up and go swim

6:45 AM -4:30 PM - Work

5:00 PM - Home, play w/kids, dinner, play w/kids, kids bedtime routine, read or watch something with Patty

Patty

7:00 AM - get up

7:30-8:30 AM - feed and dress kids

8:30-9:00 AM - Prepare for 1 of 8 therapy appoints a week for abby

9:00 AM - Play with kids

9:30 AM - Breakfast if possible

???? - Therapy

Noon - play/Feed Kids

2:00 PM - Lunch, laundry, cleanup, etc

??? - Therapy

4:30 PM - Kids and fix dinner

6:00 PM - Eat dinner

7:00 PM - Baths, clean up, storytime, etc

8:30 PM - SIT DOWN

Bedtime

Sure I do need some rest, and the fact is I get it a lot. Quiet drives to work, uninterrupted lunches, etc.

I as Patty's husband often neglect her NEED for rest. Christ recognized the need for the weary to have rest. Therefore, I commit to working harder when I get home, helping with kids more, cleaning, listening, and finding more time for her to get a away by herself. To date, her alone time is going grocery shopping. As a husband, by example of Christ, we must love our wives by providing a time of rest. Christ did, but for me it just seems to be about me, instead of her...

HA

If you don't post soon, you are going to owe me a lunch!  I hope you are already asleep!  I'm thinking Ruth's Chris!

Stewardship

Okay, so we have talked a lot about stewardship over the last few years.  One of the themes of our friendship.  We keep reminding ourselves that we are stewards, not owners, of the resources God has given us.  I recently recognized that I am only a steward of the contruction projects that God has given me, and that I need to view them with the same type of stewardship perspective that I had when I was managing projects for Phil.  Meaning that I ought to be making decisions with God's help, perspective and priorities, not my natural motivations, since they really are HIS projects, not mine.

Soooo.

I was thinking and praying in my office the other day.  Thinking about my responsibilities as a husband and father.  Probably feeling a little overwhelmed, realizing my inadequacy...inadequacies, that is.  And my horizon of understanding broadened a little as I realized that this area, too, is one of stewardship, not ownership.

So, I like Jane Austin books and movies, and as I was thinking about stewardship, I thought of Pemberley, in Pride & Prejudice.  They don't really show a steward, but I know there was one, because the dastardly Mr. Wickham explains to Elizabeth that his father was the late Mr. Darcy's steward.  I sat there in my study, thinking about what it would be like to be the steward of an estate.  I imagined Mr. Darcy, in the mornings walking and talking with his steward.  Talking about difficulties and challenges on the estate.  Talking about what was coming up next seasonally, and Mr. Darcy giving instructions to the steward about what he wanted him to focus on in the next days and weeks.  Answering the stewards direct questions about how he wants things done....and I was kind of delighted with the idea.  Imagining my "quiet times" becoming conversations between the steward (me) and the owner (God), about the different areas of responsibility He has given me.

I have been already thinking about areas of responsibility from the perspective of personal organization and planning, and had been considering 8 areas of responsibility:

1. Inner Life
2. Physical
3. Family
4. Finances
5. Relationships
6. Home
7. Work
8. Interests

So, I have been praying and "talking over" these AOR with the Master of those areas, and it has been very interesting.  My quiet times, while comprised of bible reading and prayer primarily, have really taken on a motivating focus of seeking His direction in the areas he has delegated to me.

Which brings me full circle to the function of these blog posts.  As I was thinking about delegation and stewardship, I realized that the Father has delegated to the Son stewardship of...well, all things, really.  Ephesians 1 says that all things in heaven and on earth have been gathered together in Christ.  It says that all things have been placed under his feet, and He has also been given to be the head over the Church.

Bingo!  A ready made blog post developed in my mind:

Christ loves the Church by taking the responsibility that the Father has delegated to Him as His steward, and Christ takes care of it for Him in the way that the Father wants Him to...and we, too, are to love our wives as we recognize that really, our family are really the possession of the Father, and we should act accordingly, seeking His counsel, and addressing our responsibilities according to His priorities and characteristics.

Again Compassion

As I read through Matthew, examples of Christ's love are shown through compassion for his people. (This topic has been posted before, see 8-3-2010) Below are just a few examples.

Matt 20:29-31 - Healing blind men

Matt 14:13-21 - Jesus feeds five thousand

Matt 9:35-38 - Compassion for the helpless and harassed

Jesus was very sympathetic to those who were mistreated, suffering, hurting, disabled, hungry, poor, etc. He was compassionate to the people of society that we go out of our way to avoid. If you see a homeless man do you try to walk around and not make eye contact? What about when someone is begging at a red light, do you pretend to be busy and ignore them? What about the disabled adult or child? Well as a parent of a disabled child I PREFER that people come and talk to her instead of pretending she does not exist. Our wives (Mine: Patty and Dave's" Gracie) both have disabled children. My conclusion is that showing love to my wife as Christ loves the church is loving the unlovely, poor, homeless and especially the disabled.

Generous Stewardship

John 6 is talking about bread.

First, in John 6.1-15, Christ is providing bread to a crowd of 5,000 by miraculously breaking the 5 loaves and two fishes.  I was interested to note that he broke the bread, and then gave it to his disciples to be generous with.  It made me think of our discussions on stewardship.  He made the disciples stewards of his miraculous generosity.  He was generous with them, and expected them to be generous with the crowd of followers.

Next, in John 6.25-27, the crowds follow him.  He confronts them with the fact that they are following because he gave them bread and they were filled.  He commands them not to work for that kind of bread, but for eternal bread.  He, being generous on a much grander scale than before, explains that He himself is the "bread" which them must eat (Jn 6.28-71) knowing, I am sure that in order for them to eat His flesh and drink His blood, He is going to broken.

So, how can we love our wife as Christ loved His church?  We can accept, for ourselves, the bread the He offers us, which is Himself.  And, like the disciples, we can then turn, and be generous with our wife and family, as we "break" the bread for them by sharing the Good News that He was broken for them.

By the way: have you noticed the grammatical difficulty of the word wife and wives?  If we say "our wives" it can be read as we each have more than one wife.  If we say "our wife" it can be read as if we both have the same wife. 

Love the Light of Truth

Joh 3:16-21 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (17) For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. (18) He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. (19) And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. (20) For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. (21) But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

Christ brought the light of Himself, His Truth into the world to expose good and evil.  Back in the garden, Adam and Eve believed the lie that they would be as God, knowing good and evil, and they ate the fruit.  But they didn't see clearly all the complexities.  Satan lied, and they walked away, and humans since have believed they knew what was good and what was evil, but they, and I, have been wrong.  Christ came, exposing what was really evil and what was really good to humans who thought they knew.
 
As husbands, we need to be willing to bring our deeds into His light, so they might be made plain to ourselves, for our benefit and for the good of our wives, who is under our leadership, as we are under His leadership. 
 
So we need to make sure we are, really, under His leadership, because that is one way He loved us, and we are to love our wives...by loving and being submitted to the Truth.

Christ is the Son of God who died for the redemption of sinners and resurrected after three days. This is the greatest truth in the universe. I die because of my belief in Christ.

— Watchman Nee

So, do I really believe the first sentence? Yes. Do I live my life like the last one? No.

I should live my life, which a major part of is being a husband, like Christ. He gave himself up for the church. As I should put my wife first in all things. I often think of Keith Green's song "I pledge my head to heaven" when I consider my life purpose as a believer in the Christ! He knit the love of a husband and father to that of a warrior for Christ. As husbands, we are mandated to Love as Christ loved the Church. I will go as far to say that it is NOT possible for a man to love his wife fully without first loving Christ. Challenge: Run after Christ with your all and watch what happens to your marriage.

Well, I pledge my head to heaven for the Gospel,

And I ask no man on Earth to fill my needs.

Like the sparrow up above, I am enveloped in His love,

And I trust Him like those little ones, He feeds.


Well I pledge my wife to heaven, for the Gospel,

Though our love each passing day just seems to grow.

As I told her when we wed, I'd surely rather be found dead,

Than to love her more than the one who saved my soul

.

.

.

Well I pledge my son to heaven for the gospel.

Though he's kicked and beaten, ridiculed and scorn.

I will teach him to rejoice, and lift a thankful praising voice,

And to be like Him who bore the nails and crown of thorns.

Loving her compassion for others

Matthew 8:5-13

5When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. 6"Lord," he said, "my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering."

7Jesus said to him, "I will go and heal him."

8The centurion replied, "Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. 9For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."

10When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, "I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. 11I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. 12But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

13Then Jesus said to the centurion, "Go! It will be done just as you believed it would." And his servant was healed at that very hour.

Is it possible to look at an example of what Christ did and use it as an example of how a husband should love his wife? Well, it is attempted here using an unclear example...

As I read the above passage of the centurion and his faith in Christ, the typical conclusion is clear; this man has great faith in the Lord and the Lord responds through healing his servant.

For a moment, look at it a different way: I see Christ’s love for his people. The Lord loves this man, He understands the Centurion's love for his servant and identifies with watching someone hurt. Didn't God watch Jesus hurt? So how does this apply to me loving Patty?

I as a husband can show love to my wife by listening and supporting her as she grieves for another’s pain and/or suffering. I can think of many times over the past years when I have missed this opportunity. You see as a mom of a micropreemie with many challenges, Patty is drawn to the stories of other preemies and special needs kids. When she tells me about a specific child, it usually just bounces off (probably because it hurts to hear it). So, as Christ listened and helped this man, I can love my wife by listening and engaging with her as she hurts for other people.

Focused on the right things

Christ was love, and everything he did reflected the love of the Father. As I have been reading through John, I find Christ doing just the right thing at just the right time in order to express the love of his Father. We know from the narrative of the Gospels that he, from an early age was thoughtful, and seeking to do the will of his Father. He had a firm knowledge of the Old Testament, was thoughtful and spent time apart praying and seeking the will of the Father so that he could have the strength and wisdom to fulfill that will.

I am called to be the head of my wife as Christ is my head. This is a simple recognition, not too deep, but I have been lacking in doing the things that Christ did when he sought the will of the Father. Prayer, time in the word, and thoughtfulness. I have been more like the parable of the seed described the seeds that got choked out by the briars by the cares of this world.

I need to really be challenged to focus on the things Christ focused on so that I can be prepared to be Gracie’s head.

Compassion of Christ

I am not really a compassionate person. I know it, Patty has pointed it out and after all these years together I still just don’t get it. She can be hurting in some way, whether her back from lifting kids, some other physical ailment or something with Abby. I typically strive to quickly get through the “showing compassion” part when I find out she is hurt.

Matthew 9:35-38

35Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

Compassion: sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others

Jesus loved His church, He did so much that when they were hurting or suffering he treated them with compassion. In this case (above), he knew they were harassed and helpless, he had compassion on them.

Ephesians 5:28-29

28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church

Questions:

1 – Do you recognize when your wife is hurting as Christ does the church?

2 - What do you do when your wife is hurting?

3 – What do you do when you get a bee sting, in other words do you show her the same compassion as you give yourself?

Challenge: Seek to identify when your wife is hurting, suffering, harassed, or helpless and strive to show her compassion.