keep your eyes to yourself

Divorce is rampant. Within the last month I know of two marriages that are ending or severely damaged because of infidelity. This is not a one time thing, it never is. It did not happen just all of a sudden that the husband decided to cheat. No, a foothold was given to the devil. You see men are very visually stimulated. Just notice all the crap on billboards, TV, movies, internet, the mall, letters printed on butts of shorts, etc. We are bombarded with temptation.

Do you want to lose your marriage, kids, live with brokenness? I did not think so. It is time to quit looking, destroy any footholds. It is not ok to "look but not touch", that is a lie. Remember men that you are the leader of your home and you hold the heart of another. Love her by NOT looking anywhere but to her. What can you do?

PRAY, resist the devil and he will flee from you, be accountable (more on this next time), avoid situations where you are tempted (get off the internet), Fight for your marriage. By current statistics you only have a 50% chance. It is time to quit being passive.

Forgiving

Luk 19:1-9  And Jesus entered and passed through Jericho.  (2)  And, behold, there was a man named Zacchaeus, which was the chief among the publicans, and he was rich.  (3)  And he sought to see Jesus who he was; and could not for the press, because he was little of stature.  (4)  And he ran before, and climbed up into a sycomore tree to see him: for he was to pass that way.  (5)  And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up, and saw him, and said unto him, Zacchaeus, make haste, and come down; for to day I must abide at thy house.  (6)  And he made haste, and came down, and received him joyfully.  (7)  And when they saw it, they all murmured, saying, That he was gone to be guest with a man that is a sinner.  (8)  And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold.  (9)  And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to this house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham.

Zacchaeus was a sinner.  All the people who were looking on and murmuring, “That he was gone to be guest with a man that is a sinner” were also sinners, but were separating themselves from him, as though they were not sinners, and then judging him.  Stupid. 

I do the same thing.

But, the Lord came to save sinners…and somehow, in particular, people who recognize themselves to be sinners. 

He came to live, die and be resurrected for sinners!

He loves us, the Church, in spite of our sin, and gave Himself completely for us, though He had no sin.

We, as sinful men, are called to love our wives as Christ, who knew no sin loves His church.  This realization calls us to generosity.  We should not stand in condemnation of our wives at any time.  We should instead, recognizing ourselves for what we are, be quite generous and forgiving.

Give it all up

Luk 18:18-27  And a certain ruler asked him, saying, Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?  (19)  And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God.  (20)  Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.  (21)  And he said, All these have I kept from my youth up.  (22)  Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.  (23)  And when he heard this, he was very sorrowful: for he was very rich.  (24)  And when Jesus saw that he was very sorrowful, he said, How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God!  (25)  For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.  (26)  And they that heard it said, Who then can be saved?  (27)  And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.

I really don't know how to apply this in marriage and family, but I noticed that Christ love did not keep him from making amazing demands on those that want to be His disciples.

Interestingly, this is actually a picture of Christ himself...he not only knew no sin (did not commit adultery, did not kill, did not steal, did not bear false witness, honors his Father) but He also gave up all that He had (heaven's glory) and came to give His life for the poor.

Forgive

Luk 17:1-4  Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!  (2)  It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.  (3)  Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.  (4)  And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

This one is pretty self-explanatory...Christ forgives...we forgive our wives.

Truth-telling

Luk 14:1-6  And it came to pass, as he went into the house of one of the chief Pharisees to eat bread on the sabbath day, that they watched him.  (2)  And, behold, there was a certain man before him which had the dropsy.  (3)  And Jesus answering spake unto the lawyers and Pharisees, saying, Is it lawful to heal on the sabbath day?  (4)  And they held their peace. And he took him, and healed him, and let him go;  (5)  And answered them, saying, Which of you shall have an ass or an ox fallen into a pit, and will not straightway pull him out on the sabbath day?  (6)  And they could not answer him again to these things.

Jesus was always willing to tell the truths that needed to be told in the face of lies, even when those who were telling or believing the lies were violently opposed to the truth.  Whether it is the Pharisees conspiring to kill Him, or Peter trying to convince Him to play it safe and stay away from Jerusalem (“Get behind me Satan”).  When facing Pilate, Jesus said that “for this cause came I into the world: to testify to the truth.”

In fact, He IS the truth.

Do I know “the truth”.  Hmmm…well, not really, but in an attempt to love my wife and family, I am seeking the truth, and asking for wisdom, and looking for it as for hid treasure.

Realign our allegiance to Christ

Luk 14:25-35  And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them,  (26)  If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.  (27)  And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.  (28)  For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?  (29)  Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him,  (30)  Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.  (31)  Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand?  (32)  Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace.  (33)  So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.  (34)  Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be seasoned?  (35)  It is neither fit for the land, nor yet for the dunghill; but men cast it out. He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.

Paul is an example of one who forsook all.  He was a Jew of Jews, Pharisee of Pharisees, as zealous as they come for the culture that he adhered to, but he recognized that what Christ offered to Him by faith in Him was worth loosing all the "tenure" that he had built up in the system he was raised in:

Gal 1:9-16  As we said before, so say I now again, If any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.  (10)  For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.  (11)  But I certify you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached of me is not after man.  (12)  For I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ.  (13)  For ye have heard of my conversation in time past in the Jews' religion, how that beyond measure I persecuted the church of God, and wasted it:  (14)  And profited in the Jews' religion above many my equals in mine own nation, being more exceedingly zealous of the traditions of my fathers.  (15)  But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother's womb, and called me by his grace,  (16)  To reveal his Son in me, that I might preach him among the heathen; immediately I conferred not with flesh and blood:

Christ, loving us, calls us to forsake all, and follow.  Paul thought that it was a "good bet" to give up his station in life, and the presuppositions and values of the elite culture of the Pharisees in order to place his faith in Christ, and to cease to trust the "merit" he had attained by his previous high standing among his peers.

I propose that it is a way of loving our wives to lead them to Christ, and turning from our trust in what we have received, if what we have received is not Christ and his Kingdom.

Movies

Loving your wife is giving up things for her.

For a long time Patty and I have watched movies, upon further discussion and just plain observation of this love. I have concluded it is our method to escape from much of the pain we both go through. I am referring to the emotional pain of watching my daughter hurt. I know Abby is in a lot of pain but we really don't know why. Is it the cerebral palsy, maybe stiffness of joints or muscles, do her eyes hurt from ROP or glaucoma, does she just ache from sitting and lying down all day, could it be pain in her gums (seizure medicine causing swelling), constipation, what is it? We did identify she is hurting from reflux and she had a second surgery to correct it. It could be so many things; Patty and I would do anything to help her. All that being stated, by the end of the day we just want to escape.

So here is the problem, I felt like I was watching too much TV, well not TV per say since we do not have cable, but hulu, netflix, itunes rentals and so on. The Lord convicted me to stop. So I did 6 weeks ago. This video entertainment fast has been great for me. Patty misses watching/escaping with me.

So now that the foundation is laid. I have inadvertently taken her "escape" away. So, tonight we will watch. What, I am not sure.

Does this qualify as loving my wife as Christ loves the church? I am not sure, but it is loving her.